I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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