make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Couch. On fire.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
