the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
