At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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