yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
