So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
