What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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