I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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