Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize
