I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
