yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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