Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
