no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
