ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she peed on how many people?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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