I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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