that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
