No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
