I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We don't watch enough power rangers
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
