this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
