Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
we're so committed to being not committed
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
