Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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