Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I accidentally burped into my bong.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Four minutes until I can fart!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
