So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
