do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I deserve this hangover.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
