that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Too much gin, very little bucket
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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