It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
