i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
