Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
