This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
