Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
