the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
