Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
