my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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