ya dads aren't the best wingmen
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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