my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
