I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
