I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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