Non-Jews are for practice
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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