Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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