id be glad to
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
