is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
