I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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