dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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