saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
