everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
