this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Farmville is her only friend.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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