you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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