dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
