Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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