There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
