Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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